A Lesson in First Date Etiquette

I’ve been looking to feature other bloggers that haven’t been featured here before, or bloggers we’re not friends with on Twitter. Recently we did this with some fresh blood in the way of a Guest Blog Post. While guest posts are great, it only gives limited detail and insight to the blogger. So today, I think we’re going to get a little personal and go for the guts with an interview with Molly Ford, the bloggess behind Smart Pretty and Awkward (http://smartprettyawkward.com). Alex – How did you come to the decision that you wanted to blog about your dating experiences and advice? Molly – I never actually made a conscious decision to blog about dating, but it seems natural for an advice blog to cover relationships. At any given time, pretty much everyone has one, wants one, or is trying to get out of one.topadultreview.com A – What’s your advice to those seeking to do the same? M – I don’t like it when people blog personal things about those they are dating.

My boyfriend doesn’t have a blog because he doesn’t want the world to know his life so I’m certainly not going to share it for him. A – Do you have a “golden rule” for dating? Relationships? M – Only date funny people. This is a more than just “date someone that makes you laugh” – the funniest people are the ones most comfortable with themselves, and are also often able to make acute observations about the world. All qualities I want in someone while I’m sitting next to them watching *Modern Family* and dialing the diner downstairs for a delivery of strawberry ice cream. A – What are the differences between Urban and Suburban dating? (The Urban Dater is eagerly awaiting your answer here.) M – Urban dating is better. I can’t explain why, except that maybe because you don’t have to worry about DDs. A – Do you or don’t you tell your dates about your blog? How about your boyfriend?

M – Not only do I tell *my *dates about my blog, but if I met *your* dates, I would probably tell them about it too. I work really hard to make the blog relevant and interesting and I’m excitedly proud to show it off. One time after a first date this boy went through the Smart Pretty and Awkward archives and emailed me his favorite tips with his own little commentary, which was really thoughtful. And his commentary was humorous, so that helped too. A – Have you been on dates with other bloggers? How did they go? Would you recommend doing so to other bloggers? M – Yes, Alex, I’ll go on a date with you. But let’s not be lame and talk about unique visitors and metatags the whole time. A – Do you write to entertain or to help? M – I hope I do both. A – I’m always asked what blogging platform one should use when getting into blogging.

What is your preferred blogging platform? M – I started with Blogger, then switched to WordPress. I like WordPress more, but that’s just a personal choice. I think the most important thing (some would disagree with me here) is to get a domain name so you don’t have .typepad or .wordpress in your address. I think that looks yucky. A – What kind of tree would you be? M – A dogwood. For some reason that answer seemed extremely obvious to me, although I have no idea why. A – I know some dating bloggers stop blogging when they get into a serious relationship. How long are you going to blog about dating advice? What are your thoughts here? M – Smart Pretty and Awkward is a really, really fun part of my life and I could not and would not want to be with someone that didn’t “get” that. Something About Molly ~ In real life, I spend my days being a little awkward, a little pretty, and a little smart. Also drinking lots of diet coke, wearing only dresses, and eating lots of pasta, because Sophia Loren once said about her body, “everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.” Twitter Facebook Smart Pretty and Awkward Merchandise Email me directly! [email protected] Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides Tagged in: awkward, molly ford I’ve often contemplated this very question… Some of you who read this blog and tolerate my posts know that I’ve recently shacked up with my girlfriend of almost two years. In order that’s not really news anymore. What is news is, however, is that I’m still a hopeless and hapless turd of a man. No, no. Living together with my woman isn’t driving me crazy, but it’s teaching me some things on the fly I hadn’t quite expected. You see, living with your significant other takes a good deal of… Compromise? Yeah, that sounds right.

Ejaculation Location

I mean, this woman refuses to make me sandwiches on command, like I’d hoped and dreamed… Tis a true shame. I will get mad about it all I want but does that sandwich really bring me closer to my girlfriend? Is it really worth the fight? ( In case you were wondering, this isn’t really about sandwiches…)You’ve heard the phrase “pick and choose your battles.” I always disregarded that phrase and would spark battles just because. Why? Because I’m a jerk, people.

That’s why. The point is that I’ve spent a lot of time and energy fighting battles that didn’t need to be fought; battles that really served no purpose. They didn’t strengthen my relationships, they didn’t enlighten me and they certainly didn’t make me a more respectable guy (even if fighting such battles did make me more respectable, all the snuff porn sequels I did back in the 80s would certainly negate said respectability).https://topadultreview.com/ Is it worth fighting for? Kids, we’re going to go through a few scenarios and see if they are worth the fight. Leaving the toilet seat up – My woman falls into the stereotypical woman sisterhood  that demands a seat be left down. Personally, I really like the idea of having a toilet seat that lifts upward, after using, ala How I Met Your Mom.Is this one worth fighting for? No. Just put the damn seat down, you piece of rebel scum! you wanted that sandwich lightly toasted. Right?

Nagging about random stuff – “Don’t put so much olive oil on your food!” “You’re eating THAT for lunch?” “You fold your clothes like THAT?” You know what, who gives a shit? Mind your own business! Just because you’re living together doesn’t mean you’re trying to change each other. You’re co-habitating because you, ideally, love who the other person is. Save the nagging for important stuff, like getting the clothes out of the dryer or which soft-core porn you’re going to watch on Cinemax. In Consideration of… – You and your lover live together. While it’s not a “lock-down” it does require telling someone where you’re going to be on a regular basis. I don’t really visit a need to do that, personally; but that’s because I’ve only had to worry about my very own living situation for the last decade. I could see this as an infringement on my ability to be a total bad ass. However, that would be dumb and would probably cost me getting laid, having that sort of attitude. Not worth the fight, tell your lover where you’re gonna be and when you’re coming home. It’s easy… Kinda like your mama. Wandering Eyes – This can be a hot button issue regardless of living situation. I’m of the mind that it’s fine to let eye wander. There’s a tactful way to do it and if you do so tactfully then it’s fine.

But when you declare “wow, did you see the size of that guy’s bulge!!?” (Never once heard a woman say this, BTW) Or “ I want to bury my face in those tits!” Those are examples of things you SHOULDN’T do. Is this worth fighting about? Well, I think anything more than a tactful glance hovers around being disrespectful to your partner. So maybe yes, maybe no. Break up to make up – Breakups. Still the number one reason why Trojan is in business all these years later (actually, I can’t really say that’s true. I made that shit up). Make up sex is well worth any fight you receive into. So fight just to fight for f*ck’s sake! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: conflict resolution No condoms. I pull out only My friend, and soon-to-be-running-buddy, Sè Reed, posted something just the other day about a contraceptive solution out there. It’s not one that I’ve heard of… And? It’s for us guys.

Yep. Contraception for men! Tell me more, jerky! Okay, so contraceptives for men are not uncommon; they’re just not widely used. In fact, i will say the only real contraception I’ve ever used was simply pulling out (waits for people to cuss and throw up a middle finger). But there are more enlightened methods out there, I realize. I’m not that much of a pig, even though I am totally a pig. Heck, even Planned Parenthood has the same shitty methods for male contraception. Okay, they’re not shitty, but pulling out is on their list of suggested contraception methods. That’s just asking for trouble, like babies and a burning nub. Women. Women have all sorts of shit they can take, patch, poke and what not for contraception. I mean, with so much cool stuff, why would we men have to do anything? Tis a good question. Now, the article I read leads-in with an idea; a premise really: What if there was a contraceptive method that didn’t penalize you with babies, latex allergies, odd hormones or other side-effects? Would you use it?

Fuck yeah. Me, me, mofo! Well, this article, written in March of 2012 informed me that such a method DOES exist!! This method is called ‘RISUG’ and it’s apparently sorta bad-ass. But why? Well, a doctor can poke a couple small holes in my chubby, inject some ectoplasm and pretty much render my swimmers irrelevant for up to ten years. Yeah. Ten Years!! Wow. Wear does one sign up for this party? Apparently this isn’t quite ready for prime time play in the US.

Tax Day aka Ranch Me Up and Call Me Spanky Day!

But if you, like me, are interested, then sign up to get notified. What do you all think? This seems less painful than the traditional snip snip vasectomy method.

  Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Self, Sex It’s been some years since a good-bye letter has hit this sordid pages. But below is a random one I got from a dude. He didn’t leave an email and a bogus non-sensical name… Hence ‘the Urban Dater’ as the contributor. I leave you to this… I came home today, opened the door and looked to my left as I set my coat down on the coach. I took a long hard look. It’s your photo. You always looked older than you are in that photo. It’s the glasses that kill it. I was so very grateful when those glasses “mysteriously” went missing… I wonder what happened to them? Actually, I don’t. Because they’re in a box in my storage.

Those ugly-as-sin glasses are going to be joined by this picture of yours that I’m taking down. I’m not taking it down because I’m angry and I’m not taking it down because I’m particularly sad. No. I keep saying I’ve moved on… That’s mostly true. I know that I wasn’t all that great of a boyfriend to you. Aw hell. That’s not true. I want to think I did mostly right by you. I stuck pretty close to the 90/10 rule, didn’t I? You deserve… Someone that’s willing to give you what you want and what you should have. While I wish I could have been that guy, I just couldn’t.

It wasn’t in my heart. I know I lied toward the end. I’m sorry that I did. I didn’t want to lose you… Even though I knew I would. It’s probably the only time in my life where I could see the future and know just how it would end. I called it. How it ended, what led up to it. Making love to you… Knowing that there would be no other time we would be “us.” It just didn’t work out, baby. I will only shrug; scratch my head and put my hands in my pocket and say you were the best thing that’s happened to me in my life up to this point. I was never happier or more content. I’ll always, always look back fondly on our time together. Yeah, sometimes it gets lonely without you to watch bad TV with; to share in my minuscule triumphs and heart gouging defeats. Because, you know, I get defeated lot and stuff.

It’s still not any easier today than it was the day after I slept on the couch for the first time knowing that your bed had no place for me. I try to fill my time with music and friends; they help. But sometimes I zone out. Images of us together flash through my head unrelenting memories. Mostly good, some less good. But we were good. I hope you look back fondly, too.  I also hope I left you better off than when I met you. Because I am so much richer for having you in my life…. I will only hope you feel the same, because you deserve it. Yeah, some of this comes from this guilt that I’m having a hard time getting over, too. I know that will go away in time. Listening to the pitter patter of rain drops dancing on the roof of my place has also made it more difficult to be alone… I remember just holding one another, quietly as the rain fell.

Whether it was bad TV time or in the wee hours, when it woke us from our slumber… Fuck. I miss you so much sometimes… Like right now and there’s not a goddamned thing I can do about it. But it’s okay. Feelings ebb and feelings flow. I’m truly not sad or even mad. There’s no reason to be. There’s comfort in knowing that while you’re not here, you’ll live in my heart again tomorrow. I have no doubt one day we can be friends; true friends, but friends who will always “know” what’s up with one another… I think we do take a piece of the other when we choose to love someone and it’s something you always keep and I think that’s why i will take this picture and finally do what needs doing. I’m putting it away.

For now. Good bye, love. For now, not forever. S   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides Tagged in: break up Nah. I think I’m good on that front for the time being… Yep, I’m back in the saddle again, so to speak. Being a single free agent once more isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. “But, can’t you go out and get laid a bazillion times, Alex?” Well, not really… Nope…Not a glimmer of a hope. That’s not to say I couldn’t get laid. I WILL. But I wild one-night romp in the sheets, right now, isn’t what the doctor ordered. But, hey, I have a dating web log. So let’s get to it. I’ve got some things or myself to figure out and, in the meantime, I’ve been filling my life up with so much other stuff that I haven’t had time to sit still and think about ‘this guy.’ Breakups are no fun. Ever. I actually spent a few minutes thinking about those people that jump gleefully proclaiming how they love breaking.

I couldn’t think of anyone like that, because people like that don’t exist. Anyway, am I complaining a little? Yeah, I am. Being single kinda blows. The process of meeting people can be uniquely intriguing and painfully painful. I went out with one girl who was doped up on morphine. Yeah, morphine. I asked her if she was okay; she seemed “out of it.” Her reply? “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m just on morphine. Lower back and all.” Straight faced of course. I’m pretty good at detecting bs, but I wasn’t getting that from her. Moving along… I met another gal, very lovely, reserved. Quiet, but engaging still. She even wore a little black dress for the date. Turns out she knows about this here blog. Not a problem really, but I’m re-thinking how much I like people knowing about my exploits in the blogosphere.

On the other hand, I’ve met a few other women who are awesome, but I think is more platonic than a romantic thing and I think that it’s shared, or I’m just a twat knuckle and they want nothing to do with me. Which would be totally feasible IF I WASN’T AWESOME! =) The tool of choice has been OkCupid and that’s all. I meant to signup with How About We, but I haven’t yet. At this point, I don’t really think I should be dating. Mentally, I’m not “there” yet. I’m trying to push my way through it, but I think I have a lot of questions to answer for myself, first. So perhaps I should focus on this guy, have some fun, but really, I need to figure out a few “What do I really want in life?” That’s another post. Join me next time when talk about how the lucky lizard and grilled cheese are a kiss’s worst nightmares… Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Self Errr? I like you, Jenny! person, that’s always the question. Whether it’s a 2nd date or the 1st kiss. How do you know if it will cause more? What are the signs? Are there any signs? The answer is yes! Here are some sure fire ways to determine if your dating can/will lead to something more: During the initial dating stage (5-10 dates/30 days), you talk more than once a day. In fact, you want to begin and end your day with hearing their voice and your day just doesn’t seem complete when you don’t speak. Now, if you’re still waiting to see who calls first after the 1st date, well that might explain it! Jump in! Your telephone conversations last for 1-4 hours (yes, that can still happen!).

And the best part is…you talk about absolutely nothing and everything. Hey, the only real real solution to get to know someone, is to get into their head. And it ain’t gonna happen through osmosis! You have to be willing and able to TALK! Your “dates” become more and more like endless introductions…… to family, friends, etc. For instance, let’s say your invited to be the ‘date’ at let’s a wedding of a close friend, family member or co-worker. This one is a no brainer! He/She is serious about you. NO ONE takes ANYONE to a wedding. You have got to past the litmus test! If there are children, and let’s face it, these days, there just may be, he/she initiates an ‘introduction’ (even the briefest of introductions are not meaningless). Having said those last 2……. When you do meet family members or co-workers, they’re familiar with who you are (and don’t call you by someone else’s name, but respond with, “oh, so you’re….”). Another, no brainer! You’ve been talked up! Dating turns more into hanging out!

You know, to watch the game or Kitchen Wars or something! Another no brainer! Point is, the request for your company becomes more and more frequent. And as such… Hanging out is simply no big deal (the telephone is not off the hook, the cell phone isn’t turned off, and he/she doesn’t freak out when you leave personal items behind!). And when someone calls, they answer in your presence and have a conversation, with an admission that you’re with them! Like numbers 6 & 7, a true sign of comfortability. Oh, and speaking of which, it’s okay to call/stop by early in the morning or at night. In other words, there are no curfews…anymore! And yes, there’s respectability but again a mutual comfortability that flows effortlessly, so much so, that you didn’t even notice when you relaxed your ‘rules’ (we all have them!). Last, but certainly not least, throughout this dating thing, you’ve both shared some very intimate information about your lifetime. About your childhood. Things that can’t be seen and that very few others know (and it’s not a 1 sided deal).

And here you have it, the next thing you know, you’ve been tagged, with a label, almost by….osmosis! And this just may….LEAD TO SOMETHING! Racquel loves to blog about relationships, work/life and everything in between. Read more about her on her blog! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Last night, as I was sitting at the office, a few of my coworkers were sitting next to my desk, having this loud discussion about sex.